I’m Voting Democrat? NOT!

Saturday, October 25th, 2008

A few days ago someone sent me a tongue in cheek email about reasons to vote Democrat. I added a couple of my own and passed it on suggesting others do the same. Since I received a couple of responses, most with additions. I think this has struck a chord.

 

 

 

So I decided to post it here. Feel free to add your own thoughts on this. I’d love to see this list grow a mile long!

 

God bless,

 

Andy

 

 

 

Why I’m voting for Democrats

 

I’m voting Democrat because, like most Americans, I trust lawyers more than anyone else; I think only lawyers should run the government, and all the Democratic leaders are lawyers: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, John Edwards, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Leader Harry Reid, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and John Kerry, to name just a few. (Al Gore dropped out of law school, so I don’t trust him as much, except on global warming.)

 

I’m voting Democrat because the Democrats support the trial lawyers and I think this country needs more lawsuits and less tort reform. And I don’t believe the trial lawyers contributions have a thing to do with it. I want more frivolous lawsuits to provide more interesting news even though it does keep healthcare and other business costs high. What else will help the cost of living rise.

 

I’m voting Democrat because Congress has done such a wonderful job under Democrat leadership, that I want a lot more of the same. I want more extensive, unclear, costly Congressional bills with many hidden earmarks for groups like ACORN or children’s toy arrows attached to bills such as the $700 Billion Financial bailout. The lesser clearness in a bill guarantees the Supreme Court will have to become involved and then can make more laws especially when based on European opinion. Using previous American laws or cases seems so old fashioned. I like that we have progressed from a democracy to a Pentocracy (Rule of Five Supreme Court Justices.)

 

I’m voting Democrat because I want to get my health care from the same competent, efficient, cost-effective, customer-service-focused folks like those who run the Social Security Admin, Medicare, US Post Office, and FEMA. I believe another layer of officials will provide better care and if not the politicians will have more power with healthcare in their corner so I can always contact them to get my healthcare. I really don’t like to deal directly with anyone and my congress person serves this so well.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

 

I’m voting Democrat because Sen.Obama has promised to cut the taxes of 95% of the people, including the 30% who don’t pay taxes. He’ll give free schooling, healthcare, and housing to Citizen-Challenged people to whom our oppressive government won’t give legal status to so they can live in the land of tax free give aways unless of course you are here legally, work hard, invest, create, and obey the laws then they tax you more for your success so as to Spread The Wealth Around.

 

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama has promised to take away the secret ballot in union elections, and I think the union bosses should know if a workingman or woman is with them, or against them.

 

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama has adequate experience in the Federal Government, and “hope” is a great strategy. I want someone like Obama and Biden who both are outsiders to executive service such as mayors, governors, CEOs, or Generals. This will give a fresh approach to government and an opportunity to learn. They do have the fine examples of Carter with the Iran embassy takeover and Clinton with Somalia to receive counsel on how to deal with failure. Clinton can give much advice on how not to deal with Terrorists and Carter can give advice on how to befriend dictators opposing the USA. Bill Ayers can be made Ambassador at large to deal with everyone. His previous and proud terrorist record should open many doors.

 

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama voted “present” instead of “yes” or “no” over 120 times in the Illinois State Senate, and I think we need a president who knows how to delegate decisions to others and not interfere with the process. I want a president with style, why should character or substance count. (The exception is if you are a conservative with style like Sarah Palin. It doesn’t matter that she alone possesses actual executive experience.)

 

I’m voting Democrat because I think that drilling for American oil is foolish, when we can buy oil from the Middle East.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I think windmills (except off Hyannis) are a better answer to reliable, clean energy than nuclear energy.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I don’t think we give enough to other countries in foreign aid. The $85 Billion that Obama wants to give each year to other nations to combat their poverty will be a good example of using our money to improve other countries.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I’m for putting up barriers to free trade, as they did in 1930 with the Smoot-Hawley bill.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I think this is the perfect time to raise the capital gains tax and drive investment money out of the stock market.In fact raising taxes on the greedy corporations may just drive them to leave the USA and take their dirty capitalist jobs with them.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I miss the high unemployment, inflation and interest rates of the Jimmy Carter years. We will increase community as we wait in unemployment lines. It will be good to simplify our lives as we sell off our goods so we can buy food. We’ll probably become healthier as we walk more and eat less since we sold the car. Also we’ll know we are helping the environment since we no longer have cars or smokestack industries. If only the rest of the planet had Democrats running their countries.

 

I’m voting Democrat because parents shouldn’t get to choose the school their kids go to. Parents should leave their children’s education to the teachers and stay out of it. Equally teenagers should be able to chose to have a choice with abortions, it their life anyway! They should chose what religion to believe and whether they want to work or not. Make sure they say no to drugs and drinking but sex of course is perfectly natural.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would, and I want to spread my wealth around to those who earn less - or nothing.

 

I’m voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. Hopefully a strong Democratic Congress will pass the Fairness Doctrine which Obama will sign and force radio stations to present the liberal side even if people won’t listen them on the radio. So what if the radio stations will probably stop all talk radio due to the higher costs. NPR radio will still be there to present interesting shows. Also the Main Stream Media will not be effected by this so we can still get the same news as always which a Harvard study shows as favoring Democrats. I might as well be with the favorite party!

 

I’m voting Democrat because, when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people. Did not Al Queda say that they want McCain elected? Aren’t they people to trust? Save Iraq for the Iraqies!

 

I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius. Our warming is so bad that even the Mars Ice Caps are melting too. Save the Planets!

 

I’m voting Democrat because I’m not concerned about restoring partial birth abortions, as long as we keep all death row murderers alive. They should be given voting rights and the Guantomino Bay prisoners should be freed. Save the Prisoners!

 

I’m voting Democrat because I believe that small businesses should not be allowed to make a profit. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution to people who didn’t start businesses.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I believe the law is what judges say it is, and not what legislators or the Constitution says.

 

I’m voting Democrat because the media would call me a racist if I didn’t.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I want a president who can change. Obama first was for Federal Funding for the election but wisely chose to reject it. Obama first was will to wait his full senate term to gain experience before running for president but the decided to run. Obama first held his pastor as his mentor but chose to left the church and his mentor. Obama first know Bill Ayers as a colleague but then realized he was only some guy in the neighbor hood.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I want the Military to be cut the same if not more as Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton cut the Military. We just misunderstand the dictators and terrorists around the world. It is poverty and the lack of spreading the wealth around which cause them to hate us. The poor motivates even the well educated and the wealthy to take up arms against us such as Osama Bin Laden and top aide which is a Doctor. We don’t need missile defenses if we take care of all the worlds poor. Look at what the war on poverty in the USA has brought about throughout our land.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I agree with Sen. Obama. We should pull out of of Iraq and send those troops to Afganistan.

 

I’m voting Democrat because I also agree with Sen. Obama that we should hunt down Osama Bin Laden and kill him. He’s a bad man. Why should we bother with due process?

 

I’m voting Democrat because I agree with Barney Frank who stated there’s no problem with Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and we should continue to “roll the dice” to provide sub-prime mortgages to people who cannot afford to own a home.

 

I’m voting Democrat because some say Obama is a good looking fellow and that is much more important than how long he has been in the US Congress or serving in leadership positions. If he’s got style, who needs substance?

 

I’m voting Democrat because Obama can sound as though he is telling the truth no matter how often he changes the facts to suit the circumstances. We should have more people with his kind of flexibility in office.

 

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